many thoughts, head never empty

* march '25*

i worked at CVS with another ex-friend from childhood, she kept taking stuff from lost and found and was being admonished

ex friend M from childhood's likeness at a store - she had her own line of dolls that looked like her, some of the dolls blinked and sighed in the packaging

i lived alone in an air bnb in Florida with my cat Onyx, i started locking all the windows because there were signs someone tried to break in

new job at L's building, all once apartments turned to offices...someone asked me if dinosaurs were sentient...then the boss lady wanted to take me to a party but she was mad my legs weren't shaved. I had to use some used dull and hairy razor - it was gross and i kept accidentally cutting my legs

J addd to the group chat where we all talk about esoteric stuff, i'm texting on a Nintendo switch

kittens in the office, a fiddlehead ipa pack, mom dropped off the beer and kittens...2 random girls came to see the kittens but they didn’t adopt. Mom took them back. I called out sick from high school (!?) and A was disappointed in me

Godzilla is real and is destroying center city and nyc at the same time?? multiple godzillas? my partner and i discuss how it could possibly be real

watching someone on stage at TV Eye - he is acting really snobby to the crowd

Antarctica, all people seem to be moving there because of climate change...the weather is nice, I sit on a big with my dad and sister, i remember climbing up

i still have a key to my old job at a donut shop, i enter to get something i left or maybe i'm seeing if there's anything i can take when i notice a camera facing me from a closet - almost took bagels but left, blew a kiss to the camera and noticed a sign that said "no sitting" in the cafe

Talking to my deceased grandmother on the phone, at first I'm pretending to be someone else but she figures out who i am, i think...we discuss candles, i need to replace candles with white candles...

Living with LP and D, and many others in the woods...all seem to be young witches, I'm teaching them...I help F with a large cauldron in the woods

at my own wedding, i'm scolded by some older "Karen" type of woman - i don't seem to care. In the middle of the ceremony, M gets up and proposes to L - then, it switches to living with my partner and our friends G and A in a house that looks like my grandparents place

living in Honolulu in a hotel, I was a music teacher for little kids...there were pianos on every street corner. Our cat Camus tried to run outside, I picked him up and he clawed my face. Then, lots of fragments - my brother's baby clothes...a drawing comparing an ex to my current partner...the last apartment I lived in with my family...last thing I remember were getting these falafel-onigiri hybrid things at a convenience store

Walking a black dog, letting many black cats into my room...some were babies and mom was going to take them to get adopted. Then talking to a random woman about hardcore punk...looking at a big bowl of pens, the song As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins was playing.

LP dating an old "evil ex", tried to warn them but they were suspicious of me. Then at my dilapidated family house in the woods...I’m picking mushrooms and glowing berries - lastly, a school assembly where my ex-husband was giving a TED talk about being a tattoo artist (he was not a tattoo artist lol)

Godzilla shirt dress at the theater for sale, I wanted to buy it

took my iPod and walked away from everyone to listen to music, dropped it in a puddle but it still worked, walking through my hometown alongside the train tracks

my partner's birthday party...I collected 4 glasses from my room, ordered beer, then I'm working at a bar - L said she’d cover for me so I went outside. i planted 10 sunflowers that looked like Sonic 1 sunflowers, pulled 2 of them up and then L couldn’t cover for me afterall and FaceTimed me to show me her and her coworker in a swanky office

Looking through pictures of my younger sister when she was a baby at a restaurant eating nabeyaki udon

eating Girl Scout cookies...bridesmaids trip but old ex-friends TA and LD were there, both of them had bright pink hair

Venue/Vet office, I was cleaning pet food bowls...it looked like the old Best Buy break room from when I worked there in the mid 00's

A driving wildly in a parking lot - then Hello Kitty Island Adventure characters kept going to Hell, cursed game

Eagles parade ?? spray painting green Burger King burgers (like pretty patties lol)

a mysterious woman wanted to buy my boss a fancy table

some girl summoned a teenage scene boy's ghost via oujia board and they became best friends (this would be a cute comic or cartoon)

mom and i were exploring an abandoned church in the pine barrens - we could tell it was haunted but it was fine lol

some weird guy in a limo trying to hit on a supermodel looking woman - she kept rejecting him but he kept following her

A was driving really erratically and being super unlike themself - i had to keep grabbing the wheel and steering

at an arcade/build a bear in hawaii with A - the games were very silly

being pursued by some evil teenager - him and his friends were trying to kill me and this woman, i tried to hide her and her baby from him

iggy pop walks into a french cafe - tried to order a vegan sandwich but it had a ton of cheese on it

mom was trying to cuddle a bear and i had to help her escape from how angry it got (we avoided the bear successfully!)

doing yoga - i got very insecure about my body and skin

my grandparents house was immaculately clean again and my cousin who i haven't seen in years lived there, they had a rainbow couch

halloween costumes labelled "the year 2011"

C was djing a 60's soul dance night - i walked up and hit a button and the music turned into nightcore, then we were in a restaurant and the chef of this old ramen place i worked at was there and we started speaking in japanese, then there was a band meeting with S and G

it was the end of the world - bombs falling everywhere. people were dying all around me. some would survive for a time but then disappered later - it was one of those dreams that feel very long. i was with my partner but then they were killed in an attack - i had to link up with some crew that was trying to escape and i walked around the wreckage of our house crying. i picked up my leather jacket from high school and a locket with my partner's picture in it. i looked at my guitars and told myself i needed to let go of who i was and try to survive. i remember thinking "i had a family once" :( :( :( saddest dream ever!!

bojack horseman telling diane she was pretter in her 20s (shut up u stupid horse)

purse stuck inside of a big napkin dispenser, eating charcuterie with G and A, dad came over to say we needed to buy cat food

a very wealthy woman accusing me of stealing from her house, i was hired to clean it i guess

flying around in a minecraft-like world - some kind of crying angel statue thing was chasing me and i beat the shit out of it with my bare hands lmao

trying to hold the door closed while some unstable and violent man yelled from the other side

looking for a prom dress in walmart - what year was it? felt like 00's

a bunch of bridesmaids hanging out in a beautiful house, we left around midnight and it seemed like we were in some kind of night market with lots of korean food everywhere

i had a stalker who kept saying he was "Seiya Kou" (from Sailor Moon!?) come to life - later, I was a suspect in a murder

* january + february '25*

standing on a beach, a surfer type of guy ran up to me to ask if i could watch his pet lion - the lion was very energetic but unruly, i was worried it would attack because it seemed overstimulated but it was ok

i was unlocking a bunch of apartment doors with a master key and seeing news about an election on old tvs in each one

my great aunt c was in the car with me and dad, i joined a church with them

an old ex-friend reached out to be in a band with me again, he touched my shoulder and i woke up kinda anxious

A and i had two kittens, each one was like a mini version of our two cats. those kittens morphed into human babies, one of them smiled at me and i felt very 'motherly'...A was feeding one, the other started speaking to me to tell me what they wanted to eat

i was watching myself in a crowd, i was carrying a large old school video camera and pointing it towards a bunch of punks running towards something through a big grassy field

praying at the base of a large tree - it had a tiny altar built into the trunk with little birthday candles - someone told me to go to a mountain, the name sounded like mt. "ko-koo-wo-ka"

very stark building - a version of 2 of my jobs. i poured a beer and got a message from someone that said "THIS IS WHY I LOVE SPOTIFY FUCK THINKING ABOUT A PLAYLIST" lol

studying japanese at a community center/library type of place - there was a big wheel of fortune type of game and i won a tamagotchi but it was haunted...some dream friends (no one i know irl) said i was being boring and we should go clubbing

J, A and I had a new house together and were going to turn it into a DIY venue

shopping with L - she had a magic lipstick that granted mysterious powers

a very peaceful feeling dream, long too: i was in batsto in a graveyard following a little toad around with a remote control. every time i pressed a button, it hopped. but it started hopping bigger and bigger jumps and i started to worry i would hurt it so i stopped.
when i looked up, there was a small fluffy orange kitten sleeping at a tombstone. i picked him up and he started to purr and cling to me, so i began to walk to look for food for him. through a dirt path, i found a small town.
there was a building with an elderly woman and a guy in his 30's/40's working at desks - the building was like an office/town center type of thing but very small. i asked for cat food, but they said they had to 'order it from the city and it wouldn't get there til tomorrow'...
they had some wet food because there were two other kittens there. all of the kittens ate food together, one of them was especially messy and tossed his food in the air to catch it in his mouth. i asked if i could stay at an inn somewhere and they said there wasn't one, but i could stay on their daybed.
i slept there and in the morning, the man offered me breakfast but his fridge was full of nothing but roast chicken instant ramen - i woke up while trying to say 'i can't eat chicken, but thank you..."

i was a cashier at a grocery store and when some girl gave me her ID, it had the address of a house i used to live at. when i told her i used to live there, she gave me a horrified look

in a strange little desert town, old west style, L warned me about quicksand + there were toads drying out so i watered them with a watering can.
also, my little brother was a child and bartending at an outdoor saloon. when i asked for a drink, he held a little dancing anime girl in his palm that was glitching out. also also, at some point i fell in the quicksand but it stopped halfway and i was able to get out

a big punk house had a bunch of free boxes on the steps. G, A and I noticed that there were guitars and a hello kitty rice maker and we tried to get them but others got to the stuff first

this kinda felt like i was playing a video game - a dragon/unicorn (it kept switching characters) was fighting a kaiju-sized giraffe-centaur-woman thing on a run down roller coaster that kept breaking and so the characters would fall and continue fighting on different levels

some kind of survival, post-apocalyptic situation - lots of us in a huge basement preparing to go above ground to hunt for food, my friend R was wearing a very impractical outfit and i was telling her she needed to change because her clothes would get ruined in the forest

at a pride parade where there were pastel rainbow fireworks going off, the president came out as a trans woman

a gigantic ferris wheel in the middle of philadelphia collapsed onto a neighborhood and flattened it

working in one of the restaurants i used to work at years ago, my old manager was making us try salsa and asked if the salsa was a person - would we marry it?

at a rave in a warehouse district by some docks - Rivers Cuomo was showing me something glowing in a dumpster

M had moved to Mexico and we were all going to visit her. A priest tried to stop me at the border, but accepted my passport. At M's, it was a beautiful and airy house. M and I were shocked to find that seeds we had forgotten about for 6 months in her garden had blossomed into a nice garden full of flowers and vegetables.

for some reason my industrial band was supposed to play a show with mac demarco lol and my friend L made breakfast that was like, cupcakes smashed in between waffles

my brother was reincarnated into a baby and i had to raise him - it seemed like it was the 90's again but things were off. there were ufos in the sky constantly (why do i keep dreaming about aliens and ufos lately??) and i kept having to evade my parents who kept fighting in front of the baby. at some point i handed my brother a sonic stuffed toy and asked if he remembered anything - in a baby voice he said he heard dad say "son, are you alright?"

walking through a walmart with my dad - the toy section was almost empty but there were random tamagotchis strewn about the shelves - none were the one i wanted tho

found a letter from chuck berry in the wine storage at my job

stuck inside of an old studio apartment that was getting smaller and smaller

it was the 60's and i was assigned to be a photographer for the beatles - it looked like a hard day's night era. half of the dream was in black and white! then it changed to me explaining the order of beatles movies to my co-worker R

i owed my mother a ton of money (v untrue in reality) and she was mad at me - wouldn't talk to me until i paid her back (v unlike her irl too)

i was working in a sports bar as a server and when i went to take this couple's order, the woman insisted i tell the kitchen to "make the clams casino vegan" - would not listen to me saying we couldn't do that

aliens in UFO, being chased by drones - looked like tall greys

aliens interrupting Super Bowl on TV - big alien head but small human eyes, message of peace

G flew a small plane to the jungle where me and him and S looked at plants

i was showing my grandfather snake stickers talking about joy and carried Binky outside where my dad was waiting for us, it was sunny in the yard

i was in a hotel where lots of rich people were living - all the housekeepers were painting the rooms with pastel sky colors and clouds and i was looking for an outlet