How To Put The Phone Down

This piece was originally published in issue 2 of The Philadelphia Citywide - a zine I make with my friends!

Recently I realized that I desperately wanted a break from the noise, the ads, and the constant pull I felt towards my phone and decided it was time to do something about it. Quitting social media was the catalyst for changing my addictive phone behavior, but here I'd like to focus on the enabling aspect - the role of the phone itself. I'd love to show you some strategies I've been using to break away from my phone to reclaim my time and sanity!

1. Enjoy The Silence

Turning on Silent Mode is a great start. I'd also advocate for turning off haptics that make your phone buzz. Not being able to hear the phone will help tone down the Pavlovian conditioning that makes us reach for it the second we hear/feel it go off. Sure, it could be important (and you can make exceptions for emergency contacts)... but what if it's not? I recommend turning notifications off for everything you consider to be inessential.

What about messages? We have become accustomed to being available to everyone at all times, but we don't have to be. You deserve time for yourself and for activities that don't require you to constantly be "on-call.” The next time you feel like reading a book or cooking a meal, why not experiment with putting your phone in a different room for an hour or two? Out of sight (and earshot), out of mind.

2. Fade To Grayscale

Like sounds and haptics may trigger an automatic response from us, so too can visual stimuli. For example, there is a reason that notifications are red. Red draws our attention, and is associated with warnings and urgency for something that must be addressed immediately. Besides this, your phone's home screen is likely full of a bright assortment of colors and shapes for each icon and widget vying for your attention. This is where turning on Grayscale mode, which turns your screen black and white, can be useful.

Usually found in the accessibility settings of your device, it is included to help those with visual impairments but can also be a great way to dull the overstimulating effects of a colorful phone screen. It's a lot easier to ignore notifications when nothing is standing out, and it reduces eye strain. I set up a shortcut on my iPhone to switch easily from grayscale to default by triple-clicking the right side button. (Here's a guide you can follow that covers both iPhone and many Android devices)

3. Killer In The Home Screen

Try cleaning up the home screen! When I unlock my phone, I'm met with only the icons for making a call, messaging, weather, and the clock. For everything else I have to look in the app library. Having to search makes a difference, it keeps me from mindlessly clicking on whatever catches my eye and instead, I have to make intentional choices. Autonomy!

Some people like to use productivity apps that lock you out of opening other apps. The iPhone has a function called Screen Time (Android devices call their version 'Digital Wellbeing') that can block apps for you for certain amounts of time. I've tried these kinds of tools in the past but I find it more satisfying to make a stronger attempt at exercising self control. Maybe I'm just romanticizing becoming self-disciplined (yes, I'm a Capricorn, why do you ask?), but I do find it more useful. Besides, is the answer to having too many apps really "download another app"?

4. Apps To Ashes

A step further than the above could be deleting everything that isn't a necessity, instead of merely hiding apps from the home screen. Your phone is less appealing when you can only use it for a few functions.

I'm fortunate enough to have a computer at home, and I have an iPad as well. I made a decision to designate those devices with the apps/activities that I don't think I need on my phone - mainly, whatever I tend to use for entertainment. Keeping that stuff on devices I don’t always have with me adds just enough friction to help me think before I reach for them.

5. All We Ever Wanted Was...Everything?

So, now your phone is quiet, boring to look at, and slightly less convenient. Now what? Well, maybe start by taking a look around. You're in the middle of something, somewhere, aren't you? Notice what sounds you're hearing, what the temperature is like, how it feels to be where you are right now at this moment. My friends and I made this thing in the hopes that you'd be holding it in your hands like this and thinking about the stuff inside these pages because we wanted to put something into the physical world.*

I'm often thinking about life before I was constantly tethered to a single device that held connection with everyone I knew (or DIDN'T know!), to the internet where all the information I could ever want (or NOT want!) is fed to me along with access to every song/movie/TV show/book/video game ever made, a map to make sure I never stray from the most algorithmically optimized route, the weather and the time here and everywhere, a camera, a video camera, a notebook, a voice recorder, a shopping mall, a bank, a taxi service, and more more more more...basically, I think the phone is just doing too much. I’m overwhelmed and bored at the same time.

I've been replacing aspects of it by going "backwards". Real books instead of e-books, a pocket notebook to jot down my random thoughts instead of the Notes app, a physical planner, an old iPod with my own curated music library to replace Spotify and an old digital camera. All of these activities became more meaningful for me because they stopped having to compete with each other. The camera and the iPod and the notebooks don't ping me with notifications or get interrupted by ads or texts or calls.

I've slowed down, and in doing that, so has my brain. I don't feel as aimless or as anxious as I used to and I think it has a lot to do with not being distracted by my phone – which was always trying to pull me in a million different directions. Taking time to think and paying more attention to what is actually happening around me helps me feel so much better than I used to.

I realize not everybody has access to separate devices as alternatives to the phone – a lot of people rely on their phone because it’s their most accessible tool for both social and creative stuff. And if that's you, please don't feel bad if you can't replace your phone with a bunch of old junk like me. Remember that this is about having more control over your device. It IS a tool, so make it work for you! Ask yourself why you're picking up your phone the next time you reach for it. That moment you take for yourself can make a difference in how you spend your time, which is valuable and fleeting.

*This line is in reference to the physical zine this piece was written for! If you’d like to check it out, we have PDFs of our issues online for free here!